Romance Scams Targeting Retirees: How to Stay Safe

This is a difficult subject, and we cover it with respect and zero judgement. Loneliness and a new culture make older newcomers a deliberate target for relationship scams. Knowing the patterns is the best protection — for you, or for someone you love.

If you’re reading this worried about yourself or a friend: you’re being sensible, not paranoid. These schemes are designed by practised people to be convincing.

How these scams typically work

They follow a script: intense early affection, a fast-deepening “relationship,” and then — once trust is built — money. A sick relative, a business emergency, a visa or travel cost, a sudden crisis. The requests escalate, often with urgency and secrecy.

The red flags

• Money enters the picture — any request, however small at first, especially with a crisis or time pressure.
• Speed and intensity that feels out of step with how little you’ve actually met in person.
• Secrecy — being encouraged to keep the relationship, or the money, from friends and family.
• Avoiding real-world checks — excuses around meeting openly, video calls, or meeting your circle.
• Isolation — anything that quietly separates you from people who’d give you a second opinion.

What to do

• Pause on money. A genuine partner won’t collapse if you take time before sending funds.
• Talk to someone you trust. Scams thrive in secrecy; a friend’s outside view is powerful.
• Keep records of messages and any transfers.
• If it’s gone wrong, report it and seek support early. In Thailand, the Tourist Police speak English on the 24-hour hotline 1155 (also via the Tourist Police app or a Tourist Police station). Tell your bank’s fraud team immediately if you’ve sent money, contact your embassy, and report to your home fraud service (e.g. Action Fraud in the UK, the FBI’s IC3 in the